There are a couple of things to think about here.

First, don't get downhearted by rejections, get excited. Really. I’m not joking. Why? Because every rejection is one step closer to getting what you want.  It’s common to be knocked back 5-6 times (on average) before you get what you want – so celebrate each rejection as it takes you one step closer to where you want to be.

We all experience setbacks. What distinguishes successful people is that they don’t give up – here are a few examples:

• Colonel Sanders started KFC after he turned 60. His first break was a restaurant agreeing to pay him a fee to use his secret herbs and spices recipe – that break came after he was knocked back 1009 times.
• Jack Canfield and Mark Victor-Hanson are the highest selling authors of all time with their “Chicken Soup for the Soul” series. They pitched their idea for the series to well over 100 publishers before someone agree to take them on.
• Many years ago I completed my degree but needed to complete another course before I could begin my professional career. I missed the cut off date for the course and had to wait a full year. During that time I applied to every employer in my industry in Canberra for a position. Occasionally I received a “no thanks” letter but more often there was no reply.

But I didn’t give up. After more than 40 knockbacks I received a call from one of the firms who had initially said “no thanks”. They offered me a temporary position and that lead to another very lucrative job. What’s more, that employer allowed me to continue working flexible hours when it came time to complete my course – I was the envy of my fellow students.

The better part of the story is that the relationships I made in that first role resulted in my return to that firm many years later. Ultimately I became one of their senior executive leaders.

Resilience and persistence bring great rewards and maybe the right position for you is the next one.

Second, you will always miss out on 100% of the positions you don’t apply for.

Remember: 90% of success is just turning up! Many people don’t “turn up” and then wonder why they have little success in life. History is littered with people who didn’t fulfil their potential because they gave up too quickly.

Successful people are prepared to do the things that unsuccessful people aren’t. So choose to be successful, and that means continuing to “turn up”, regardless of the number of knockbacks you have had.

Finally, take a look at your technique. Why are you getting no response or not being successful in your application. If you can’t work it out, ring the organisation/potential employer and politely ask for some feedback. You will likely get some excellent insight into what you can do better next time. Even better, you will be showing initiative – who knows, that employer may keep you in mind the next time they need someone.

There are plenty of practical strategies to employ here, such as:

• Plan the trip to the interview allowing time to get ready, travel, etc, and then add a buffer. Use that estimate to set the alarm on your phone – get a friend to ring you as well.
• Have a quiet night before the interview. Use the evening to make sure your CV, references, and interview outfit are ready to go in the morning.
• If you have a friend or family member who is prepared to help you get there on time, ask them to help out.

Honestly though, whether you get to a morning interview or not is a matter of choice. If you want to get there on time, then you will find a way to get there. If it’s not a priority for you, there will be all sorts of excuses and reasons that will come to your rescue.

The far more important strategy to employ here is to ask yourself what sort of life you want to lead. Do you want to create a life others only dream of, or do you want to live a life of missed opportunities and unfulfilled potential?  If your trade is the right stepping stone on the path to achieving your dream, then take responsibility for getting there on time and make it happen.
If you haven’t thought about what you want to be, do and have in life, then now is the time to ask yourself some of these bigger questions (see Q5 below). The questions may be big and the answers even bigger, but the great news is you can change your answers anytime you like and it’s fun to do.

The flip side is, if you don’t ask yourself these questions then you risk doing what too many people do – live life by default rather than by design. They look around at 40, 50 or 60 and wonder how they didn’t make more of their life. Invariably the reason is they never stopped to decide on what they really wanted in life and never really had a plan. After all, how can you make any sensible decision that will impact on your future without knowing where you want to go? You wouldn’t consider leaving the house without any idea where you were going, and life is no different.
Once you answer these questions and confirm your trade is the right stepping stone for you, getting to an interview on time will be no problem because:

When the WHY is big enough the HOW is never a problem.

Having a dream is inspiring and motivating – having a plan and taking action to get there is what will make it come true.

A broadly held view about our emotions is that we can’t control them – they happen to us and then we have to make the best of what we get. In fact, this is a long way from the truth.

Our emotions are triggered by events – nothing controversial there. However, in almost every case the emotion we experience is not caused by the event itself, but by the meanings we attach to that event and internal discussion we have with ourselves about it.

What happens from a chemical perspective is that we receive a stimulus (sitting in the interview chair, reading a book, watching the TV) and we unconsciously decide how that makes us feel. We then release a neuro-chemical that causes us to experience whatever feeling we have (unconsciously) decided is appropriate in the circumstances. In the case of an interview, that emotion might be fear. Equally, if you decide differently, the emotion could be a feeling of fun or confidence.

In the end, whether or not you are confident is totally an internal decision – it’s not something anyone else can give you. So here a few tips to make it easier for you to decide to feel confident in the interview:

• Make sure you are prepared. Predict the questions they will ask you and run some answers through your head. To help you come up with the right answers, ask yourself the question in Q2.
• Picture yourself in your mind going to the interview and feeling full of confidence. Run the interview through your head and notice how you give all the right answers and really enjoy the experience.
• On the way or when you get to the interview, think of a time you felt totally confident and relaxed. Go back to that event in your mind and let those feelings wash over you. Do it a few times and notice how confident you start to feel.
• When you get into the interview, remind yourself that the interviewers are keen for you to succeed. That is why they invited you – because you have talent! Your job is to relax and be yourself. During the interview repeat to yourself “I am among friends” and answer accordingly.
• Remind yourself before, during and after the interview that:
• This is fun
• The worst thing that could happen is you get great practice for your next interview
• There will always be another opportunity and another interview if this one doesn’t go your way (this is absolutely true).
• Answer honestly and with authenticity - interviewers will know when you are not being genuine and that will be held against you. Don’t worry about what you think they want to hear, because how can you ever really know what that is  - after all, you are not them!

If none of this helps, see a coach who can help you break the strategy you are using to trigger the unhelpful emotions during an interview.

Success in life comes from many things, but the most consistent indicator of success in any vocation is self actualisation – in short, that means doing something you love. You don’t have to love the entire job, but to have a fulfilling and successful career it is essential that you are able to find something in it that really resonates with you. Maybe that’s working in a team, or being able to complete a complex project or using your hands. Finding that key will be the difference between years of joy as opposed to years of dread.

So, the first question you need to ask yourself is “will going back into the trade be right for me?” Only you can answer that question. If the sole reason you are doing it is because your parents want you to, you are creating a lot of problems for yourself before you even start. I see many people who live their lives trying to please others and they invariably find:

• It’s an impossible task
• Living life by someone else’s rules creates huge internal conflict that spills over into all areas of their life
• Resentment builds up often causing an ‘explosion’.

So what to do? Start with some hard thinking about what you want to be, do and have in life. Where do you see your future? Have fun with this. Set some crazy goals and sketch out some wild dreams, reflecting on questions like:

• What are you good at?
• What were you doing in a work environment when you felt fulfilled and confident?
• What do you love to do both at play and work? What is it about those things that you enjoy?
• Who are your role models and what about them is inspiring?

If you do, you will already be well ahead of a large proportion of the population.
Having completed that task, here’s one possible solution. Create a plan of action that includes steps and dates for completion to show you mean business. Start with small steps and plan ahead for a few months to begin with.

Now ask your parents to a meeting to discuss your plans. Start the meeting by asking that they listen to what you have to say and then commit to also hearing them out. It is important that everyone get’s their point of view on the table, even if you don’t agree with it.

Discuss your action plan with them, including why you want to head in the direction you have chosen – demonstrate that you have really thought about your decision. Listen to what they have to say - maybe they have some ideas that can help. That said, they may not agree with or understand your perspective. That’s OK, as it doesn’t mean you are wrong, it’s just a different perspective.

At the end of that conversation, you may have some choices to make. As your coach, my advice is that your success and fulfilment will spring from your courage to run your own race. All choices have consequences – but it is highly likely that the right choices for you will also be the best ones for everyone else.

Do some of the hard thinking set out in Q5 above. If you understand why you want an apprenticeship and make some plans for a bright future, you will find it far easier to maintain your motivation.

As I have said before:

When the WHY is big enough the HOW is never a problem.

Once you have done that, see the answers to Q1,2 and 4 above.

How do you really know that they think any less of you? Of course you don’t. You’re just listening to your negative internal self-talk. After all, haven’t you maintained a high opinion of a friend or family member even though they were out of work? And why does it matter anyway?

Now ask yourself “do these thoughts serve me?” If you lack the motivation to take charge of your life, then maybe they do have some benefit. However, in my experience thoughts like this will only serve to put you in a poor frame of mind or ‘internal state’.  From there it is hard to get anything but poor results.

Let me explain. Your internal state is what’s going on inside of you at any time and is determined by a combination of your emotions, beliefs, values, physiology, etc. It is the quality of your internal state that determines the quality of your actions and the results you get.

For example, if you were experiencing an internal state of super confidence and creativity, imagine what action you would take if you saw a big opportunity. Chances are you would put your best foot forward, be bold and take massive action. It’s that sort of action that returns great results. Now consider the alternative – imagine the internal state of someone who knows they are not good enough, expects they will not get the job, and is preparing for the worst. What sort of action will they take? Are they likely to present themselves in the best light and take the right action?

So your first task is to take responsibility for the thoughts you are having. When they do not serve you (and you will know from the negative feelings they generate) consciously change tack. Look up, put your shoulders back, breathe in deeply and remind yourself that your family and real friends love you for who you are, not what you do!

The more important question is “What do you think about you?” – your answer will foretell the game you choose to play in life. The truth is you are unique with a one in a billion combination of talent, passion, personality, and conscience. Your task is to begin the journey of finding your niche and adopting the mindsets that will allow you to realise your full potential.

A coach will help you rapidly accelerate your journey.

I am always curious about the word ‘should’ because it implies a set of rules or expectations to which we all must comply. In fact, no such rules exist. What’s more, no one can really say what another should do because they can’t possibly say what is or is not right for them. How could they? They have not lived their life, had their experiences, nor shared their thoughts or emotions. The best another person can ever do is provide advice on what they would do in the situation. Maybe that advice will help and maybe it won’t.

What is right for you is only known by you. You will understand what is right for you when you do the hard thinking in Q5. If you are passionate about getting a trade then don’t let wild horses get in your way. Remember good ole Colonel Sanders. He was over 60, almost bankrupt, driving around the US and living in his old beaten up car. He endured 1009 ‘no’s before his first ‘yes’. If he can find a way to ask one more time, so can you.

Again, a coach can be invaluable in helping you discover what you ‘should’ do.

How do you know what you are coming across as? And how do you know the interviewers will not be impressed by ‘a bit desperate’? Maybe you are not desperate enough. One thing for certain is that if you keep doing the same thing, you will probably get the same results.

So, if you are not successful in interviews, make sure you get feedback. Be persistent in asking for it and don’t settle for a second hand one-line explanation. Tell the interviewer that you are anxious to receive their advice so that you can improve your performance and offer to take them for coffee if that helps. Most people will be chuffed to be asked for their opinion and guidance.

Once you get the feedback, sort out the real nuggets of advice and then take action. Use the feedback to improve your technique and then do the next interview better. If you don’t get that job, repeat this process.

Also, try some of the techniques in Q4.

Be honest – unless you are a world champion liar, a false answer will be written all over your face and that will be the end of your chances.

That said, think about what you have learned while you have been out of work. What have you done in terms of increasing your skills or knowledge? What has it done for your desire or your conviction to get a job and be successful? If you come up with a real benefit, consider taking the issue head-on in your next interview. Mention it straight up and then follow on with the valuable insights and benefits that will make you a better employee.

Let me give you an example. I left university before I finished my degree, I was bored with study and yearning for a taste of corporate life in Sydney, so I went to work with the world’s largest accounting firm at the time, KPMG Peat Marwick. I had a blast for the first year but soon after realised it was not for me. After 2 years I headed back to university.

To my surprise, when I arrived back at uni they were undecided as to whether they would let me in. I had kept studying part-time while at KPMG to complete my degree but that had been a disaster. In between work, studying for my Chartered Accountant exams and socialising, the uni part was a distant priority and I failed a subject. I was called to a meeting.

The seriousness of the meeting struck me immediately I entered the room. Around the table were the Dean and Sub-Dean of the Law School along with about a dozen professors. Clearly it was a ‘big deal’. I was nervous to say the least, but I decided to take the issue head on and be as honest as I could be.

I admitted the failure was lack of application, but I also mentioned my heavy workload and other study that I was doing at the time. I really had bitten off more than I could chew. I immediately went on to tell them what I had gained from the experience and my time working as an accountant. I explained that it had given me a real passion to learn and complete my degree. I was, for the first time ever, excited to go to lectures. I was committed to do my best and even offered to have them all review my progress after a few months.

They must have seen the sincerity in my face and I know they enjoyed my candour and honesty. When I left it was with a resounding ‘welcome back’ and lots of smiles.

For you, being out of work is not the issue. It’s what you did with that time that is revealing, as that reflects upon your character. So think hard about what benefit or value you have got out of that time.

If you think about it hard enough, you might find a silver lining.

Implicit in this question is a mind-read on your part that your mates will think less of you because you don’t have a job. But really, how do you know what they think? How do you know they are not busting to help you out and lift your spirits?

After all, have any of your mates ever not had a job but stayed your mate? Were you still glad to see them? What’s more, have you or your mates ever known anyone who didn’t have a job but you still enjoyed their company?

And what if your friends know of a work opportunity – how will you be able to take that opportunity (or get them to keep a look out for you) if you have dropped out of the loop. This is precisely the time when you should be spending time with your mates, getting their support and putting yourself in the best internal state to get that next job.

As I said in answer to Q7 above, take responsibility for the thoughts you are having. When they do not serve you (and you will know from the negative feelings they generate) consciously change tack. Look up, put your shoulders back, breathe in deeply and remind yourself that your family and real friends love you for who you are, not what you do!

There is plenty you can do and it’s in times like these that your support is vital. Here are a few ideas:

• Point out that being out of work is the perfect time to do some hard thinking about what they want to be, do or have in life (see Q 5). Who knows – maybe that is the true purpose of the circumstances they find themselves in.
• Point out to them what they are good at, where you think there talents are. Get them to remember there successes and to articulate how they created those successes.
• Assist them in developing an action plan to get them into a job.
• Read over their applications and ensure they are putting their best foot forward. Very often people are too modest in their CVs.
• Help them prepare for an interview by pretending to be the interviewer. Provide feedback by picking the good points, identifying areas for improvement, and finishing with positives.
• Get your friend out and about. Maybe that’s the beach or a park, but physiology has a huge impact on our behaviour. The combination of sitting at home, being inactive and watching TV is a recipe for even worse results and potentially depression.
• Encourage them to listen to CDs or read books on achieving their dream job or that are motivational or inspirational
• Get them to see a coach. The bridge between where they are and where they want to be is, in the most part, to do with how they think. A coach can help them accelerate the change in mindset they need to start living the life they want.
• Get them laughing, anyway you can. Maybe that's by getting them to watch a few good DVDs or comedy clips on Google. However they get there, having a good laugh for half an hour a day can be life changing. If nothing else, it will put them in a much better internal state from which to take positive action.